Dad

So, Dad's "death day" came and went this year...I happened to be reading a book that my mom gave me at the same time as his death day...it is called Good Grief by Lolly Winston. I don't think I could have read this book any sooner following Dad's death cause as it was, I was crying the whole time! I liked this book...she does a great job of describing the feeling of loss that you have when you lose a loved one. The part that I didn't like about it was that at the end of a year (or two years) the main character is already sort of over everything and is living with another man. She wraps things up too quickly and makes it seem like everything is ok...but other than the ending, I htought this book was good. Also, the whole time I was thinking, "What would I do if I lost Matt?" It has to be the hardest thing ever to lose your husband (or wife). When I think what a horrible time I have had dealing with Dad's death, I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose the person that you have been married to and built a life with. Your life is (usually) intergrated in everyway with your spouse, so losing them is truly like losing half of yourself.

Wedding Planning

I recently took a trip to San Diego to begin planning Matt's and my wedding. Matt proposed while we were in India, which was in February, and I didn't make it out to San Diego to start looking at places until the end of March. Originally, Matt and I had wanted to have our wedding in Mexico, but when my mom and I went down to check it out, it seems that everything had been booked up! Baja California is really popular for San Diego weddings I guess. We looked at a few hotels and other place, but in the end Matt and I decided that we just want an extremely casual wedding. So for all of you that will be coming to the wedding....don't expect anything fancy! It is just a fun wedding...our main hope is that all of our family and friends can get together in a relaxed environment to have a good time. So...be prepared for a much more relaxed wedding than usual. We are getting married on December 31, 2007 in San Diego. Luckily for me, mom has agreed to take care of most of the details. Thanks mom!
I couldn't resist putting this picture in...this is Makayla and her desk. Everything was perfectly organized and arranged on the desk and I thought it was really cute. Unfortunately I didn't get pictures of the other girls, cause I was mainly taking pictures of wedding locations and stuff.

If you like to drink cheap liquor out of 7-11 Big Gulp cups....

...then the South Boston St. Patrick's Day parade is the place for you. It was sort of like a mix between mardi gras and St. Patrick's day...lots of drunk people and lots of bead throwing going on. It was also freezing cold.

I liked the bag pipes. There were also lots of police departments and fire departments that marched, including some that came over from Ireland.

There were lots of random people walking, like all of these people dressed like Star Wars characters.

Basically, it was good to go to this parade to see what it was like...but I am not sure I need to stand in the freezing cold again next year, unless we have visitors that want to see it. It is probably more fun to be in one of the kajillion Irish pubs in Boston if you can get into one...Even at 10 in the morning, the pubs had huge lines outside!

St. Patrick's Day Dinner

We are really lucky that our downstairs neighbor, Marc, is super friendly and outgoing. We are even luckier that he is an amazing cook and that he lets us eat his food! For St. Patrick's Day he made a delicious, traditional Irish feast. (At least I think it's traditional...I have never been to Ireland so I can't be completely sure.) He made corned beef from scratch with potatoes, carrots and cabbage on the side.

For me, the best part of the meal was the coleslaw...he made a bleu cheese coleslaw from scratch that was amazing. Ever since this meal, I have been into oleslaw, which is sort of bizaare because I always hated it before.

This beautiful cake was made from scratch by Matt...it is an Irish Whiskey Cake, and it was delicious. It was really good with the home made cinnamon whipped cream that we put on top.

One More Party

As a thank you to all of their friends, Srikanth and Keerti had a cocktail party the day after their wedding. The reserved a private room at Touch (Keerti's aunt's nightclub) and invited all of their friends. I was exhausted, but it ended up being one of the most fun nights of our trip. By this time, we knew most of their friends quite well, so everything felt very comfortable.

The funny thing about Indian parties is that they serve a full meal at 5 in the morning. By that time, all I want is sleep! I got out my camera for this party, since it was the last one, and people sort of went crazy. Everyone was hamming it up for the camera. It was hilarious!

It is never good to see a picture of yourself dancing! Nevertheless, I have posted one of Matt and I here.

These are Srikanth's beautiful new wife and his sisters. Poor Keerti has to move in to Srikanth's family home with everyone! No matter how nice your in-laws are, that has got to be awkward at first. Srikanth's sisters are Extremely nice though, they were so welcoming and hospitable the whole time we were there.

They had a Brazilian dancer put on a little show during the party. She was an amazing dancer. What a crazy life she must lead, touring India dancing at nightclubs!

One of the most memorable parts of the night was when Srikanth took the microphone and announced to everybody that Matt and I were engaged. Everyone sort of went crazy and surrounded us and were toasting us and cheering. Then they made Matt and I dance in the middle of everyone. It was lots of fun! Also, weird that all of these random people in Huderabad knew we were engaged but none of our family did. I made them all promise to come to our wedding but I think it probably won't happen!

This trip to India was expensive and probably not the wisest decision, considering that Matt had to miss work and I had to miss school. However, I am SO glad that we went.

Last Day for Shopping in Hyderabad!

On Matt's last day in India (I stayed 2 days longer) we went shopping. The most exciting place to shop is always in the market: there are lots of people and interesting things. On theother hand, it can also be extremely tiring and time consuming because aof all of the bargaining, curious people, and beggars. Luckily, Hyderabad doesn't have too many beggars, so that was not an issue on this trip.

I love the guys that sell food in giant piles on top of their head. Too bad I don't like samosas, there were a ton for sale in this market!

These guys were selling what looked like old, broken kit kat bars. Somehow, this looked revolting to me, although I am sure it tasted fine. It was really hot and dusty in the market, so chocolate left out in the sun is not an appealing thought!

There was a ton of delicious fruit for sale. I was in heaven! I ordered a lassi near here because I love them, but it was disappointing. I guess north India is a better place to get lassis. The lass I ordered inthe market had both water and ice in it. I drank it anyway and it was fine...but our Indian friends were shocked and told me it was too unclean! I gues they are right...I vow only to eat clean foods on my internship in India this summer. I have been spoiled by not getting food poisoning on any of my trips, but I think I have probably become too lax in my food cleanliness standards. (Or at least my water standards, I think cooked food is probably ok.)

I bought a whole bunch of bangles from this guy. He was funny here, I think he was embarrassed to be in the photo. His dad (the shopowner) was taking pictures on his cell phone and wanted him in the pic. I love all of the bangle shops in India cause they are so bright and sparkly. The problem is that it is hard to choose what you want because everything starts to look the same and look cheap. But when you see women wearing them, they look nice, so you just have to buy stuff and start wearing them. I think bangles look good from afar but not up close.

We also bought some metal tiffin carriers for storing food in. Tiffin carriers are what Indian people use to bring their lunch to work. I haven't used mine yet, but I will at some point. I like the way they look, so they are displayed on top of the hutch in my kitchen.

The tiffin shop owner was muslim, and he asked if we were from the USA. We said yes, and he starts railing on about how he hates Bush. Then he said he thought we should vote for Hillary because he loved Bill. He saw Bill Clinton once because Clinton came to give a speech in Hyderabad. He loves everything Clinton did but hates Bush. This was not surprising at all for Matt and I because every place we have been in the world, they always ask who we are voting and whether or not we like Bush. Sometimes I think Americans (Matt and I included) take for granted the power we have as voters. The rest of the world eagerly awaits the decisions of Americans and speculate about who Americans vote for, because the US has such an important role in world events. It is interesting to think that Kazakh nomads in the Xinjiang province of Western china and an elderly muslim tiffin seller in Hyderabad India think more about US elections and politics than alot of Americans.

Srikanth and Keerti's Wedding Day

Srikanth Nori and Keerti's actual wedding day seemed almost anticlimactic affter all of the events that had been leading up to the wedding. The wedding was held in a huge warehouse type of builiding because there were 3,000 people there! Both Srikanth and Keerti's dads are very successful men, and they both invited all of their colleauges from work. Keerti's dad is the tax commissioner for the state of Andhra Pradesh, and so the governor of the whole state was there! The thing was huge, so basically Matt and I ate food, chatted with all of our new Indian friends, and then left. Oh, and I had another conversation with Srikanth's dad about Matt and his tight trousers and how he needs to do yoga. Haha!

The ceremony lasted for hours and hours. It seemed like chaos. No one was paying attention to what was going on in the ceremony, everyone was just chatting and eating and being noisy. There was live music as part of the ceremony, and that was cool. The singing was really cool also.

The family stood on stage throughout the ceremony, but wandered on and off because it was so long. Keerti and Srikanth looked bored for a lot of it. Keerti's outfit was intricate and amazing, and she had an outfit change about half way through the ceremony to a new, even more intricate outfit.

The Brahmin priests that conducted the ceremony were young and jovial. They were on a break when I took this picture of them, and I was surprised cause they started asking me all sorts of questions. They wanted to take a picture with me but then they decided it would be disrespectful for the wedding ceremony. They made e promise to meet up with them after the ceremony for pictures but Matt and I left early cause it lasted so long.

At one point, everyone made a line to give the couple their wedding gift. There are special envelpes for wedding gifts, and you fill them with cash. Luckily, one of our new Indian friends brought us an envelope so we could follow the tradition.

Banana Leaf Lunch after the Groom is Prepared

After the Srikanth was officially "prepared" to be a groom, there was a yummy delicious lunch served on a banana leaf. It was delicious. We ate lunch in the traditional way: no silverware and sitting on the ground. Matt and I are usually very enthusiastic about doing things the traditional or local way. However, in this case, doing things the traditional way conflicted with the famous Indian hospitality. To me, it was hilarious. As Matt's future wife, I should probably be a little bit more sensitive, but I just can't help but laugh!

Basically, Matt is probably the stiffest person on the earth. It comes from the Massey family genes, his love of soccer, his tight pants, and his refusal to come with me to yoga class. Apparently, according to Marti, Matt had stiff legs even as an infant.
As you can see from the picture above, Matt can't sit cross-legged. Being the good sport that he is, Matt was willing to put up with the discomfort in order to eat with the family. However, Srikanth's family was appalled by the site of Matt sitting in that weird way, with his knees up to his chin. I myself felt uncomfortable just sitting next him! Matt kept insisting, and still insists to this day, that he is not uncomfortable sitting cross legged. It is hard to believe that, but whatever.

Srikanth's dad insisted that Matt move to his own table behind the family. I decided that I didn't want Matt to sit alone, so I moved back to sit with him. Then Srikanth's dad and I got into a discussion about Matt's tight trousers and how he needs to do yoga. Haha! I couldn't stop giggling. I am a horrible girlfriend. I wasn't giggling in a mean way, it just looked funny and I couldn't stop, especially as Srikanth's dad kept going on about the tight trousers.

Matt did much better with eating the lunch though...I hate eating with my hands and so I asked for a fork. How un-festive of me!

On another note, just to embarrass Matt further, I think he looks really cute in these pictures!

Preparing the Groom

As Srikanth's (the groom's) guests, Matt and I were invited to the ceremony to prepare the groom. Basically, Srikanth's whole family was there, and a Brahmin priest. The ceremony

was quite long, and the the priest was chanting the whole time. At one point, all of the women in the family poured oil on the grooms head and wished him luck in his marriage. It was very interesting...the best part was the singing of the family members.

Mehndi

Part of the preparation of the bride in an Indian wedding is the mehndi ceremony. It is sort of equivalent to a bridal shower because it is all women. Basically, all of the female friends and family get together and have their bodies decorated with mehndi, which is sort of a temporary tattoo made with henna. The bride's family hires some professional mehndi artists, musicians and caterers for the party, and then the women sit back and sing, eat and get decorated.

The longer you leave the mehndi on, the darker it will be and the longer it lasts. It is very important for the bride to have very dark and intricate designs because the darker it is, the happier the marriage will be. You are supposed to leave it on all night long, and keep moistening the henna with oil, sugar and lemon. Keerti (the bride) seemed totally shocked that I hadn't brought coconut oil with me to India. Then she said, "oh well, if you don"t have it, you can just use baby oil." Haha! I don't think I have ever owned baby oil!

You are supposed to leave it on all night, but I felt too oily and gross, and didn't want to mess up the hotel sheets, so I washed mine off when I got home from the party. It was still pretty dark, but it wasn't as dark as everyone else's. Good thing my marriage isn't depending on it!

Golconda Fort

Matt wrote our initials on the wall. Yes, I know it is an ancient monument...but it was just sandstone so I think it will rub off soon.

This is me right after Matt proposed. I felt realy weird at this point, like I wasn't sure what to do with myself. Matt was like, "Let's take a picture". I thought, "Um, ok, I guess I will go over to the edge" but I felt really awkward standing there. Also, all of the muslims were being called to prayer at this point and the sound was eery.

While we were in India, Matt proposed to me. He did it at Golconda Fort, and I was completely surprised. I really had no idea that it was about to happen. Even while he was proposing, I was thinking, "Is he proposing?" It just didn't seem real. But it was, and now we are engaged! Yay! I definitely feel ready to be marred to Matt...I guess after 7 years, you had better feel like that, otherwise something is seriously wrong!

We went to Golconda Fort at twilight, and it was really pretty. We took a three wheeler to get there, and had to drive through all sorts of narrow, twisty lanes to get to the fort, so when we got inside the fort it seemed extremely calm and peaceful. Everything looked very romantic because it was twilight. The funny thing is that right after Matt proposed, all of the muslims in Hyderabad were called to prayer by their muezim (I think that is what they are called), and it was a really eery sound to hear them all at once. We have a video of it with sound on youtube. If you can't get it from that link, you can go to youtube.com and search "mlmassey".

At night they have a light show at the fort, and it was sort of pretty at first, but I was getting eaten alive by mosquitoes! And, it was long and sort of boring because it went through all og the history of the mughals and everything. Obviously, this was not the most exciting part of the night.

Also, I don't have a ring yet because Matt thought I would be too picky about what he would choose...I guess he is probably right about that, but it is sort of sad that he is scared of picking something for me! Anyway, I just added this part because I know when you get engaged everyone always wants to see your ring.

Mmm....Thalis!

Matt and Meagan Waiting for Thalis

Extremely Delicious Vanilla Ice Cream!

Our Table Mates

south Indian thali before the rice is ladled


I loved the food in Hyderabad. (Surprise, surprise!) It was a cool mix of north and south Indian food and since Hyderabad has a huge Muslim population, there were lots of meat options for Matt. We found a cool little restaurant near our hotel that served vegetarian thalis, and you had the option of "North Indian special thali" or "South Indian special thali". I always got the south Indian thali, because most Indian food in the US is north Indian, so it was fun to try lots of new stuff.



Basically, you walk in the restaurant (which was called "Vegetarian Food") and they seat you at any available seats, which means you may or may not be sitting with another group of people. Our table mates were really nice, their picture is above. When you order your thali, you get a set meal, whatever they have cooked for the day. You start off with a super sweet dessert, then get soup, then you get your "sampler platter", which has little bowls of various sauces and curries, with an empty part in the middle for rice and fried bread things (not sure the name). There are men constantly going around the room with giant pots full of rice, and you can choose between biryani and white rice. You are supposed to eat the biryani with the south Indian thali, but I always got the white rice -- otherwise it is grease overload! After the meal, you get

another dessert (no wonder diabetes is such a problem for Indians!) and then an extremely creamy, delicious vanilla ice cream. All this for 79 rupees (about 2 dollars)!

It is exactly the kind of meal I like... no need to make any menu choices aside
from "north or south", and lots of little bowls of things to taste and try.

Touch

Keerti, Srikanth Nori, Matt and Meagan

While we were in Hyderabad, we went out almost every night to clubs with Nori and his friends. I was completely shocked...I knew there were clubs in Mumbai, but I didn't expect that there would be so many in Hyderabad...I also didn't expect that we would be spending most of our time in India at clubs, up all night! I think we probably staid on US time, because we would eat and 11pm and then stay out till 5 in the morning, then sleep most of the day.

Inside, the clubs looked like clubs you would find anywhere else in the world. And they cost as much, too! Some places had 20$ covers! For India, where people are dying on the streets and most people live on less than 1 or 2 $ a day, that is an ungodly amount of money. And inside the clubs, people are not conservative at all...some girls dress skimpily and people dance very seductively. It was completely shocking to me. WHen I have traveled in India before, I was only exposed to the very poor and the very traditional in Rajasthan. So, this trip to Hyderabad was very unexpected. I asked one guy how he felt about all the poverty and malnutrition in his country, and he said, "There is nothing really you can do." I think the rich in India are so used to the contrasts in wealth that they don't even notice it anymore. (Or maybe they just don't want to notice it.) Anyway, the disparity was mind bending. But then, everything in India is mindbending...I guess that is why I love it.

Srikanth Nori's fiance Keerti (in the middle) and her friends.

Keeri's aunt owned a club called Touch. It was a great club, actually, with good music and a fun crowd. It was sort of cool, cause pictures from Touch were in the local newspaper alot. (Sort of like the "In Touch" magazine for Hyderabad.)

After going to Touch the first night we were there, all the guys came back to out hotel with some of the famous "Hyderabadi Byrani" and naan. We needed plates and silverware, so they proceeded to go into the kitchen of the restaurant and help themselves. Matt and I were like, "Uh, do you think you should do that?" They were like,"Oh ya, it is no problem, we know the owner's son." Matt and I sort of shrugged and figure this is what India must be like. They left a huge mess but said it would be fine. The next morning, the owner of the hotel says he wants to kick us out! Nori's friend ended up working it out for us so that we could stay. It was sort of an interesting event though...these guys are so used to having whatever they want, it doesn't occur to them that they can't go into someone's restaurant and start helping themselves to plates and silverware and cups! But, I guess that could do that in the end, cause we didn't get kicked out or charged or anything.

Charminar

One of the major landmarks in Hyderabad is Charminar. It is an old tower...the coolest thing about it is that it is surrounded by a really fun market area. To get there from our hotel, we took a little yellow autorickshaw. I hate riding in the autorikshaws, cause it is hot and dusty and you end up sucking in all the exhause of the other autorickshaws and cars. Plus, if you are in an autorickshaw, there are no doors or windows so you are completely exposed to beggars!

Hyderabad is known as "the pearl city" for some reason...we couldn't figure out why, because it is not on the coast or any large body of water. They had a lot of pearls for sale, though! I thought about buying some, but then decided against it because I already have some white pearls that my Grandma Yeckel gave me, and a black pearl that the Hardy family gave me.

I did one very stupid thing...I decided I wanted a lassi because I love them and it was hot out...but it was filled with ice and water and half way through drinking it I thought," Oh no, this isn't China...I could get very sick from this!" But, everything worked out ok and I didn't seem to have any problems. The lassi was not that good, so it wouldn't have been worth the sickness...it was way too sweet. I guess lassis are more of a north India thing.

We had fun in the markets, but we didn't buy much on this trip because we were only there a short time and shopping in the markets is very time consuming. Also, our house is already filled with stuff from India!