I am about to head off to school today and I am dreading it! For some reason, I dread my class more and more every day. I hate it! It is so tedious! Just more and more memorizing of characters and practicing grammar patterns. It is three hours long every single day, plus a one hour train ride to get there. I think I hate it so much in part because of the fact that I have to take the train...it gets to be very annoying. I have to change 2 different subway lines and then change to the train, so it is not like I can settle in and read a book or anything. Plus, it is CROWDED. I feel so cramped! By the end of the week, I hate every single person on the train. It is horrible...I hate having such bad vibes in my body, hate is a bad thing. But it is too crowded, and everyone is grumpy and everyone is rushing to be the first one on the train, or off the train, or to get the free seat so they don't have to stand with their nose crammed into someone else's arm pit.
There is really no good reason for me to hate going to class. I am getting good grades, and the people in my class are nice. Kelly likes the class...I hate it though. I like learning Chinese and practicing it, especially in china. It is so rewarding when you can communicate with someone in Chinese, or when you can read something or recognize characters. I just HATE sitting in class everyday. Plus, the teachers annoy me, particularly one that I call dragon lady. She is from Beijing and I think she is manic or something. She stares in the corner while she asks you a question and if you get it wrong she screams, "Bu Xing!" That means "Not OK". She is crazy! The other teachers are nice but it is just such a tedious process.
I used to worry that I wouldn't like going back to grad school if I can't even handle this class...but grad school will be different. There will be exchanges of ideas, not just memorizing things and repeating them.
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