Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Taxes

I have been trying to get a jump start on the income taxes that I have to file for 2004. I have been going through Dad's files with his previous tax information and his time sheets for 2004 and it made me very sad. First of all, I realized that Dad only lived for 3 full months of 2004. Now 2004 is gone...and Dad only lived a little part of 2004. It is unbelievable to me. I can't get my head around it...this is my first year that I have been alive that Dad hasn't. I am sitting here crying, surrounded by files and thinking, "How could I forget about this..." It is so easy to get caught up with life here in Hong Kong, and traveling and all of the new friends I have met. Life is hectic and so it is easy to push thoughts out of your head if you want to. Dad hand wrote his income taxes for 2003, and seeing his handwriting that is so familiar tears my heart. I remember it so well. I remember last year when I was filing my own income taxes for the first time. Dad sat there with me on the phone and took me through each step. Not that it was that hard to do, since I only had to file a 1040-ez and didn't even have interest income. It must have been right before he left on his New Orleans trip...In fact, I still have my "To Do List" from the day he died, written before I found out that he had died of course. I had written, "photocopy and send out taxes." I keep that list of things to do because it is like a little window into what my life used to be like. It was paradise but I didn't know it. I had virtually nothing of consequence to think about, and yet I was "stressed". I didn't even know the meaning of stress then. I had no real worries and had a safety net that I could always rely on. I feel really bad for the girl who wrote the list because she had no idea what was about to happen. Whoa, that sounds very dramatic! I guess I really do have a flare for drama like Matt says.


My Daddy the Tax Man Posted by Hello

3 comments:

XOXO me said...

it's okay to be dramatic sometimes... That's what the blog folk are here for, you say whatever you need to say.

Todd said...

This is completely normal. Both my parents passed away before I was 32 years old and it's very normal to miss them.

I sometimes see something that I say to myself "Hey, I should show that to Mom" or "Dad would like that". Unconciously I go to dial their old home phone and realize then and there that it won't ring through. In one way it is said, and in another way it is great that I can still think of them as a part of my day to day life.

Meagan, I think you're kind of lucky in one way. You have a single big event (filing taxes) where you can remember all the great things about your father.

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