Sad Stories

I have two Shanghai stories to tell.

Story 1: Last week I was meeting a friend for lunch over in Pudong, which is on the other side of Shanghai. I was walking across the road from the subway to the mall. It is a very touristy area because the Pearl Tower is there, and for some reason, lots of people like to see that (I am not sure why!). I had my head phones on, but was not listening to music because I was texting my friend to let her know I was going to be there soon. I sensed that someone was standing really close to me, so I looked over and caught a woman with her hand inside my purse! This was really shocking to me....in all the places I have been I have never been pickpocketed, or even saw someone trying! Luckily, my purse had two pockets, and the pocket she was looking in was empty. Thank goodness, because the other pocket had all of the money to pay for one year at my yoga studio. I would have been really sad if that was stolen.

So, I saw her hand in my purse and I gasped and moved to the side, still staring at them. The woman had a baby strapped to the front of her chest in one of those baby carriers (not sure what they are called), and she was with two other women with babies on their chests. It took me a moment to process it....you don't think of mothers with babies as thieves....especially a pack of 3 women with three babies. I guess that is the point of bringing three babies along? So, I stared at them in disbelief, and they looked at me and then turned around and walked the other way. I didn't do anything....as I was walking away and realizing what had happened, my adrenalin started pumping. Matt said I should've punched them, but I was in shock, and anyway, I feel more bad for them than anything....they are forced to try to pick people's pockets because they are poor. I don't think they are evil. They weren't Han Chinese, I am pretty sure they were Uighurs (the people from Western China). I hate to say they were Uighurs though, because there is such a stereotype here about Uighurs being thieves. But I guess these ones were!

I realize they are trying to take care of their babies by getting money for them, but I think they were putting them in danger....someone else besides me might have grabbed them or hit them, and the babies were on the womens' chests....so the babies would get hurt first.

Story 2:

I was on the subway at night by myself...it was around 9 pm and I was going home. I looked at a woman behind me with her baby. I smiled, because the baby was adorable. Then the woman comes up to me and starts begging. I was sort of shocked because I didn't realize she was a beggar, so I sort of gasped and turned my back on them. As soon as I did that, I felt terrible....I not only didn't give money, but I also probably made her feel like a freak by turning my back so quickly and harshly. Then, I got off the train, and she got off the train with her baby. I thought, "Ok, now I can give some money", but before I could catch her she disappeared behind the construction barriers. Our subway stop is under construction because they are putting in a new subway line, and there are tons of migrant construction workers (all men) around. I really felt sick then.....it was night, she had no place to stay, and I didn't even give her a few kuai. And now, she was going into the migrant worker area? I hope her husband or boyfriend was back there....otherwise, who knows what she was doing.

Seeing the beggar woman made me think: If I was a mother and had no money, would I choose to pick pocket, or beg? What a horrible decision to make. We are so lucky that we don't have to make those types of choices.

In India, I never give to beggars. This is mostly because I am afraid to. There are So many beggars -- and people-- and if you give to one person and other people notice, you can get overwhelmed by people crowding around. I have had this happen even with out giving money -- people surrounding us and clamoring for -- it can be scary -- not that they mean harm but it is just overwhelming . There are lots of way to give in India, that doesn't involve beggars (Oxfam, Unicef, Operation Shanti). Plus, I am sickened by the whole "beggar mafia" thing, and I am distrustful of where the money actually goes when you give to a beggar.

In China, I don't think people would crowd around...you could give money and then go on your way. So, I think I might revise my policy about giving to beggars, at least in China. I wish I would have given that woman a few coins at least!